What do I do if the teacher/coach is a bully?
Saturday, 09 January 2010 00:00
This is always a difficult situation because it involves someone who works directly with our child(ren). Document the reasons you think that the teacher/coach is involved in bullying behaviour. Set up a meeting with the individual and let him/her know that some situations have been brought to your attention and you need help clarifying some things. Approach the situation as a problem-solving meeting. Start by saying that this is a very difficult thing to have to bring up. Listen to the responses given, and see if there is a change in behaviour (escalation or de-escalation) or if things remain the same. If nothing changes or things get worse, contact the person at the next administrative level. Keep a very close eye on your child and see how things go for him/her. You may want to keep in contact with the person and let him/her know what changes you are seeing.  Six pack abs

*Note - this question part of the book "How Parents Can Take Action Against Bullying"
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julie said:

thank teacher is bullying my child
first of all my child was bing bullied by other girls in school last year i filed papers with the head person at the school an they said they will take care of it . well it went on for 2 years with the same girls school never done nothing i have copys of the reports i filed adainst the girls. then last year on may 20th my child was hurt bad a girl beet the crap out of her an broke her nose she had to go to the doctor well i filed charges we had to go to court the girl got one year probation . this year know kid are bothering her but now teachers are picking on her kicing her out of class when she is not doing nothing . i have had texts from other kids in school about them telling me my daughter got kicked out of class i asked what happened an they said thet the teacher picks on her almost everydady , they said my daughter dont have to do nothing an they will kick her out of class , what can i do now ? this is been going on all this year .
 
February 24, 2010 7:57pm
Votes: +5

The Man Who Dared said:

Talk to the Teacher, Superintendent, Local News
Save those text messages. Could be used as evidence. Talk to the teacher in question, have a conference. Contact the Superintendent. Contact the entire school board. Even let them know you will contact the local news if you are not seeing them doing anything about this.

I've had a situation where even bringing up reporting to local news channels resolved it. It was about state issuance of funds, but never the less, it's effective.

By the way, I was verbally bullied by a teacher in high school who hated my political and religious beliefs and had her try to turn the class against me. Government class, this was.

I also had a substitute teacher in elementary school yank me out of my chair by the arm for, what I remember, I was not paying attention.

I'll pray for your daughter.
 
March 19, 2010 5:11am
Votes: +5

Kate said:

Talk to others
If it is one teacher, talk to other teachers your daughter has. I have worked with teachers who I know were picking on students - but as a fellow teacher, my hands are tied. I'm not in the class with her, and I can put my two cents in with administration, but it gets shrugged off, since the other teacher is my equal. However, if any parent ever came to me (and I did try to contact some of them, but they ignored it - the teacher chose her victims well) I would have backed up the parent with the administration, and then consequences could have been brought to bare.
 
July 29, 2010 11:48am
Votes: +1

kenneth said:

parent
what do i do if my child come home from school with scrates on his back from a teacher and marks on his arms where the teacher grabed him to hard and i tryed going to the school board and they are just trying to cover it up, and mind you this is the 3rd in 2 weeks and now my son says his is scared to go back to school because he thinks it might get worse. p.s. i live in KY please someone e-mail me at confusedinpa182@hotmail.com thanks
 
September 24, 2010 4:53pm
Votes: +3

Doug Soderstrom said:

...
If a teacher or coach continues to bullies you........ look them straight in the eye and say, " Cut the crap...... I am a human being, and I will not allow you to treat me that way any more so stop what your dong to me. And if you do not stop, I will make your live so miserabe, you will wish that you had never met me..... Do you understand?
 
November 01, 2010 5:05pm
Votes: +16

Doug Soderstrom said:

Human Being
If a teacher or coach continues to bully you (as a student)........ look them straight in the eye and say, "Cut the crap...... I am a human being, and I will not allow you to treat me that way any more so stop what you're doing to me. And if you do not stop, I will make your live so miserable, you will wish that you had never met me..... Do you understand?"

 
November 01, 2010 5:11pm
Votes: +8

sarah said:

teacher prob
I work in the same school as a classroom assistant my children. My eldest hates the teacher he is with he shoves books into his chest and just roars at him all the time. He is a slow learner and I sent him to a tutor and his confidence was coming back until he started to keep him in during their break for laughing at another boy that was being cheeky. It is so hard as i work there I went to the principal and the teacher never spoke to me for 3 weeks. What can I do he is a very thick man.
 
January 18, 2011 4:37pm
Votes: +5

Margaretno1enimie said:

Help
I'm constantly getting bullied by my teacher margaret, she's turned some of the other teachers against me. I've told my mother and she talked to her it's not getting much better what should I do?
 
February 03, 2011 7:40am
Votes: +2

Margaret said:

Professor of Education
My daughter is currently being bullied by the high school track coaches and the AD is backing up their behavior. The are sarcastic, withhold emotional support, withhold coaching support, and tell her that she has a choice to run or get off the team. Meaning keep quiet or the AD will kick you off of the team. We went to the AD and she refused to talk to us. She told our daughter she was 18 (by one week) and that parents were no longer involved. The situation continues to be strained. We are currently in documentation phase. Any ideas of good research and courses of action would be helpful.
 
March 24, 2011 4:53am
Votes: +11

Angela Humphrey said:

Help with school
im 12 and moved to florida from indiana. i had a great school before, my teachers were like friends and parents. i had friends. now i got moved to an alc school because i was bullied and people hated me, especially the teachers. everyone hates me no kid talks to me and they treat me like s**t. especially one teacher and preps who are like 14. my teachers hear it but dont do anything. today we were watching a movie and someone said stop watching like they were my master, it was just another student, the teacher heard. didnt say anything. another person said get out of my classroom, didnt do anything. what do i do? one teacher was making fun of me because i told my mom. im all alone, and all anyone says to me is rude things. its hard to ignore. i laugh it off alot, but it still hurts. my moms adressed it, nothing happened.
 
May 11, 2011 5:09pm
Votes: +2

sam said:

-__-" ehh, help me ?
Our class just got a new teacher and she is a total bitch. She always yells at me and my friends and is nice to the popular people. She always looks at me like im doing something wrong.It pisses me off. There was this one time when me and my friends were walking to track and she came and yelled to tell us to hurry up but hardly anybody was out yet. And she yelled at us for other pointless things. She's not always like this but it seems like mostly to me and my friends. She tries to act funny in the class when shes not even smilies/angry.gif
 
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May 25, 2011 1:15am
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Cheryl said:

Where do I stand when a teacher is getting physical
To whomever can help,
My middle son Jamie, has been having problems with his schools librarian who is verbally being abusive, but never where their are witnesses. This afternoon my son came home and told me that the librarian had again grabbed him and thrown him to the ground and held him there. The excuse was to calm him down! I have on both occassions gotten hold of the appropriate authorities within the school and be told they'd look into it. I'm sick of them looking into it, I want something done about it. Where do I stand, and how can I get the school to stop this behaviour?>smilies/sad.gif
 
May 27, 2011 1:43am
Votes: +2

Angel said:

Bullied by a Coach
My daughters were both bullied by a High School Coach and her Teacher friends. We told and we were sued. The very best thing to do is move your body away from a bully. My children both have black belts and could have ended the problem instead they did the right thing and told. Teachers, Coaches..Judges stick together. It's the Administration....same unions. Get away from it.
 
May 28, 2011 11:55am
Votes: -1

Angel said:

Bullies
Best Answer...get away as fast as you can. Go live a better life elsewhere.
 
May 28, 2011 12:01pm
Votes: -1

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June 06, 2011 8:24am
Votes: +0

jake said:

June 06, 2011 8:25am
Votes: -1

jake said:

wreirowihr
this is bull Carpsmilies/angry.gifsmilies/angry.gif
 
June 06, 2011 8:26am
Votes: -1

Richard Stone said:

Coaches Bullying Students
Our two daughters were bullied by their High School Dance Team coach. The worst of the bullying occurred after the Principal forwarded our emails of concern onto the coach. The coach retaliated against us by bullying our daughters. Our oldest daughter was a Special Needs student and was bullied the worst.

We took our concerns to the Superintendent and even the Town Board of Education, but we were not taken seriously. Our complaints and concerns went unanswered as we were told the matter was a “personnel” matter and therefore could not be discussed. The bullying got worse when we hired an attorney. Having legal representation only made the school become more agitated and annoyed with us.

Only through Freedom of Information Act requests and obtaining correspondences, including emails, of all school personnel involved did we discover the conspiracy and willful effort to deny our claims. A quote from one email written by the Superintendent to the Principal states, “If we continue to refute all allegations then we will shatter the accusations that come in from those parties who are trying to make things such a big deal. Hang in there…” We attempted to speak before the Town Board of Education and were denied to speak freely. A letter written to us by the Superintendent states, “If in the future if you plan to speak at another board meeting during public participation, please refrain from any accusations or allegations against personnel. It is against the board’s policy.” The efforts by the Town, the School and its employees involved to dismiss our claims were very strong, at times we felt powerless but it only made us stronger in other ways. Our attorney was most surprised by the schools lack of concern and unwillingness to resolve the situation.

We have presented our case to the State Board Of Education Special Education Division over nine day’s of Hearings. The facts determined by the Hearing Officer was that there were “outrageous acts of bullying” by the coach and that the Board “failed to appropriately reprimand” the coach, “and in fact, the Board acquiesced in the bullying by demoting the Student and supporting the advisor’s outrageous behavior”.

The Hearing Officer found that my oldest daughters Civil Rights were violated under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. The school has sought to appeal this decision and we are currently awaiting trial in Federal Court. The local News channel recently covered the story and can be seen on youtube.com at, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWvEWzzBETU

For all those parents that find it too difficult to fight city hall, don’t give up for what you believe in. In the end, justice will prevail and the findings will benefit all of us by forcing schools to be responsible and accountable for their actions, or in our situation, lack of actions.
 
July 07, 2011 5:55pm
Votes: +19

Lady T said:

DON"T GIVE UP!!
Both Student-on-student and teacher bullying situations call for a variety of possible actions:

You can talk with the teacher bully in person and have specific actions you want them to stop.Don't be intimidated.

Try sitting in classes with the your child for a whole day, randomly, like once very two weeks for a few months.Observe behaviors. Who are possible friends? Take notes for possible evidence.

You can always talk with the school counselor. Sometimes they have friendship groups or may have heard similar stories before. They might suggest a formal complaint as well.

Attend PTA meetings and see whom might be willing to listen to your concerns.


File a Freedom of Information Act(FOIA) form to see if other folks lodged formal complaints in other instances of bullying at the school. These folks would be natural allies/supporters.

Who are other leaders in your community? Other people that are good resources include private counselors, clergy and law enforcement(especially if physical bullying occurred). Tell them the situation and see what they suggest.

Are there any student groups formed around diversity, social justice or anti-bullying issues? Who is the adult adviser for that group?

Often kids know about teacher bullies and student bullies but no one asks them. If you can get their stories, it will be evidence that something is going on.

If you suspect your child is being bullied by a teacher, get a small recording device and have the child carry it with him/her through out the day in their pocket. It will be evidence later if needed.

Suggest your child make an "ally" at school, someone who will help him/her when they encounter the bullying behavior. Perhaps a neighborhood child. As parent, you could ask the neighbor's child yourself.

Talk to your parent neighbors too!

Contact an anti-bullying organization such as ADL, National Coalition Building Institute(NCBI) or Olweus. They do trainings for schools. Also, try your local ACLU if you think the bullying is based on race, gender or sexual orientation.

BOTTOM LINE: Do not give up. Keep asking for help from as many people as possible until you get it.
 
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March 03, 2012 1:54am
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sheree said:

harrassed
My daughter is in the 6th grade and she has been labeled by many teachers and the principal because she has a behavioral iep in place so now she is talked about like as if she's the baddest student in the whole entire school. Everything that goes on in the classroom she gets blamed for it. It has gotten to the ppoint where stidents will purposely do things and blame her because they know she will get in trouble for what they have done. There is one male teacher that consistently approaches my daughter for anything he could think of like for last week he told her she couldnt wear stud earrings because thaey were against the school policy and then yesterday he said she couldnt wear another pair of earrings that she had on and she was sent to the principal to ask if she could wear them and the principal complimented her but when I tried to make a complaint against the male teacher the principal said he was enforcing the dress code after the principal said my daughter earrings wer nice. What can I do if the principal if not resolving the issue and pushing me off????
 
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March 18, 2012 11:49pm
Votes: -2

Doug Soderstrom said:

Retired Psychologist
Do not ever fight back! Let the bully (the teacher or whoever do all of the fighting.) But when it comes to "crunch-time" just let them know who the boss is....... the one who is acting decently/the one who is presenting him/herself as a decent human being. And what you (as a young person) do is simply, in a nice way, say "cut the crap", stop pushing me around, stop bullying me! Even though I am much younger than you, I am yet a human being with specific inalienable rights, and I demand that you cease and desist what you are doing to me or I will see to it that you are reprimanded by your superior, lose your job, and/or sued in a court of law. Do you understand me? Now will you leave me alone or do I need to call for security?

If my son or daughter was being harassed by a teacher, etc. this is exactly is what I would suggest for them to say and do. But the most important thing is for one to present him/herself as a decent human being and to never lower one's self to the other individual's level of fighting back. That way one will never, at least in the long run, be criticized for doing the wrong thing, especially in a court of law.
 
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Votes: +0

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...
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April 20, 2012 6:59am
Votes: -4

fedup said:

bully goes to next level, open handed smacks in games
http://youtu.be/WH2DUOeEcZ4
Our son was open handed smacked repeatedly during high school games and practices. He was assaulted with a basketball to the back of his head while running in practice by same coach, and was given a bloody nose by same coach during a physical contact practice on the same day. He was first de-motivated and destroyed verbally and then the assaults began. This coach is being investigated as of date we do not know if the district will uphold the no bully and zero harassment policy in place, or choose to ignore and let him still coach. If the latter, unacceptable.
 
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yung wild boy said:

the teacher bully
a teacher bully me and my friends everyday for no attenstions wat should i do should i talk up to the big dogs or should we get all our moms together n talk about cuz this need to stop now before we have a riot out n then they might blame it on ussmilies/angry.gif
 
September 17, 2012 10:10am
Votes: +3

dad2004 said:

Principal is the bully
Thanks for the article. Unfortunately I am trying to handle a horrible situation now. My son is scared to go to his school. His principal has tried to bully both my son and myself.
My son was bullied at the latch key program his first year, to the point where the other child was finally removed from the program. Now my son is afraid to go to the school.
His teacher tells him he cannot see the nurse when he says he is sick (he has thrown up in my car 4 times on the way to school). When I drop him off the security guard tells him he is going to call the principal in a threatening manner. When I took my son to the nurse myself, she tells him he doesn't want to go to a different school because those schools are bigger. After we left the nurse's station, the security guard grabbed my son outside the station and drug him down the hallway. The whole time my son was crying and screaming for my help, this in front of over 20 people. The principal called me upset, not about my son, but that I had videotaped the event. I requested a meeting with the principal and he refused. The following day, the principal grabbed my son by the arm and pulled him out of my car.
When I finally got my meeting with the principal, neither of his teachers bothered to show up, even though I requested they be there. The principal did not remember yanking my son out of the car. In fact he did not remember the many times my son was lying on the ground crying not wanting to be bullied at the school. He said he was not aware of any problems at the latch key program. I showed him violent pictures my son was drawing and the principal and the social worker said they could not help and were not aware of the pictures. The problem being they were drawn at school and his teacher even put a good job sticker on one of them.
My son told me he felt safer if I would go into his class with him. His teacher told me I could and they encourage parents to do so in the school handbook.
I took my son to the classroom and they told me I had to sign in at the office. I did and then they told me I also had to sign another form. It was a hold harmless letter saying I would never sue the school. When I refused, the principal told me I could not go into my son's classroom. I told him my son was afraid of him and his pediatrician said he had stool holding patterns related to his fear of the principal and the school. I also told him that I had been a volunteer before at the school and never had to sign such a form.
The whole time the principal kept trying to bully me to sign the form. After making my son wait 30+ minutes for me to be there for him, the principal finally said he made a mistake.
Now when I take my son to see the nurse she leaves and the principal comes in and hovers over my son when he is on the cot. He keeps telling him “I will check on you just like I always do". The following day basically the same scenario, the nurse leaves without seeing my son and the principal comes in. This time taking my son's temperature while my son is shaking afraid of him. When I asked the principal to leave the nurse's station, he put his hands on his chest, like your typical bully and said this is my school. That same day, when I picked my son up from school that he had to go to the nurse, another child punched him in the back of the head and then he fell in the cafeteria. No email to me, no phone call just the note with the wording addressed by the principal. So my son got to deal with the principal he is afraid of one more time. The principal then sent me a letter telling me I could not videotape at the school, ( even though I have seen many parents doing exactly that) and that I am not allowed in the nurse's station.
The Superintendent sent an email to parents condemning bullying behavior and what the dangers were. I sent him a response email of how his staff had bullied my child in May of this year but he has not responded.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated,


 
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ibo said:

Bad Techers
I have left this school now and much happyer better school and f**king good in the old school one of the the techer was bullying me i did not say nothing but i had to go back to the old school and give my old locker key back and get my money when i saw that techer i called her name and said hay then she look i put my middel finger up and called her a bitch and made so angry and i was so f**king happy that i got her back and makeing her life a miserabe in front of everone and left the school never coming back.
People out there getting bullyed by there techer stand up 2 ur self and fight back TRUST.smilies/smiley.gifsmilies/smiley.gifsmilies/smiley.gifsmilies/smiley.gifsmilies/smiley.gif
 
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So I'm in 7th grade and I have PTSD ( Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ). Well at the begening of the year I told her about it and said please don't point your finger at me throw out the year it is a trigger and she's said " ok I won't I feel so sorry for you". Well a month in the year she points her finger in my face and yells at me and I go please don't point your finger in my face trying to hold back the feelings and thoughts. She stop and rolls her eyes at me and walks off. She's did the same thing 2 more time this year leading but to about about a week ago she told me to follow her to the hall and I did and she started it again I said again please don't point your finger in my face. She did again within 5 seconds and I flipped out got in her face yelled so loud all the teachers but 1 in the hallway came out I was yelling at her and she stiffed her arm like she was going to slap me and I said " don't even think about it ill knock you out and I have 2 years of MMA and self dencse to do it" she slapped me and I punch your in the face knock her out then get on top of her and get a good 4 punches on her before the other teachers grabbed me and I got sent to jail for the night and she did lose her job or anything. When I was protecting my self from a older and bigger attacker. If you have any questions or want to know more text me at 1-812-27three0
 
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Mitchell ho jia le said:

Bitchy Teacher
My teacher is constantly bullying me, asking me to shut up and physically abusing me. She grabbed my ear and put my head on the table!
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Bullying
I am currently being bullied by a teachersmilies/sad.gif
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Kodiakae said:

...
I have an issue and I am not too sure how to handle it. My husband went to my twin girls school to pick them up. My husband noticed that my girls would not talk and look scared. This is not characteristic of them. Come to find out they were bullied by a teacher. This teacher is not even their teacher. She pulled them out of class and they missed almost a whole day of school because they didn't sign a paper telling them the rules of the class. A class that they had not even attended yet. She would not allow them to go to class. She stated that they had to stay out until my husband arrived to sign the paper with them. My girls are top students and well behaved. They shrink at authority. They have never been in trouble. There was no reason to treat them like this. Then when my husband got there she tried to do the same to him. my husband would not tolerate being treated like that and didn't appreciate the way she had treated daughters and let his feelings be known and he called her a bitch. As this is not a nice thing. She lied and said my husband tried to hit her. Then as she left she yelled, " I don't any of them here anymore. They are not allowed back." I got a call from the business officer, he lied to me and told me that and said there were many witnesses. After talking with my girls I found out that there were no eye witnesses but that everyone could here. My girls have told me daddy did not raise his fist to her as she stated. Then the school called the police dept and told them that my husband can't go to the school or he will be arrested for trespassing. Michelle Julian (Teacher)lied and and so did Mr Hawkins (business officer)The school director for Gorman Learning centers will not call me because she is afraid of a lawsuit. Please help, what do I do.
 
September 24, 2013 7:08pm
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Worse for Wear said:

It Never Works.
I've been the subject of many a bully. It's a hazard when you consider yourself (or even look) non-violent. Through elementary school, it was more fun than anything else, because I had friends. Middle school: my friends thinned out, and I started running from bullies. High school hit and bullies were harder to run from. I've been jumped more times in my life than I can count on both my hands.

One thing I noticed: TALKING NEVER WORKS. If the bully is the student in your class, they would keep a guise (aimed at the teacher) that they were harmless. The parent of the bully would believe the bully could do no harm. Teachers see this s**t everyday. They turn a blind eye to it.

If the teacher's the bully, they stick together, and they are smart enough to establish a chain of command and secrecy. It's like trying to tell a big corporation that their equipment is faulty. You got to hit them in their pockets (sue them) to make them see truth.

A few things work well for me. Friends, for one. Friends either in greater numbers or higher placed than the bully in question. Even the best message is nothing without the right ears to hear it. And there is a such thing as power in numbers. I enjoy having a lot of brothers. It comes in handy when all the kids in the school knows that your family is huge and will defend their own. And it's an awesome thing to be able to tell the right person to get the teacher fired outright.
 
September 28, 2013 6:28pm
Votes: +0

david r. griffin said:

Stop the bullying
My daughter and many others are bullied by a teacher/coach in a small town oklahoma school. The school stresses sports and has a culture of promoting it over academics. There are no parent groups such as pta so voices are silenced with the exception of a few. I have four high achieving children and have only had one incident concerning a teacher until now. The coach has been very successful with 5 players in basketball. The team hates him as he is insulting and crude in the locker room as well as classroom. Yet no registered complaints due to apathy or fear of retaliation loss of scholarships or being ignored by the administration. There will be no action without parental involvement. If you dont tie up the time of the superintendent to where he is tired of the the irate parents complaining nothing will change.. you can change schools but the bully wins. Lets help our youth and get the masochist out of the system and give this generation a chance. Mediocrity has become the highest status to acheive in our schools because parents are to busy or lazy to get forcefully involved. Don't ignore your childrens needs. They may be listening to your cries for help. The juice is woth the squeeze.
 
December 16, 2013 3:07pm
Votes: +0

FaithT said:

Bullying teacher
I am an 11 year old in 6th grade at a hard school. It isn't like other schools it is twice as hard as other schools. I have had awesome teachers. They are like family to me. But this year I have a teacher who has been anything but nice. She has gotten mad at my best friend because she is quiet, everyone is quiet because they are scared of my teacher. She has yelled at my friend and said she needed to pay attention but my friend is the most focused one in the class. I have 2 more best friends and they are both failing subjects. She isn't kind about it, I mean it's ok to tell kids to step it up but she is rude about it. Just this morning I was on my way to school and I don't know what came over me but I started bawling in the car when we pulled up to school. My mom talked to me and asked if I was tired. I have cried before about this stuff because of my teacher but my mom thought I was just tired. My mom said that if my teacher is really this bad that she should be fired and replaced. But I don't know if I am exaggerating or if this is a real problem. In my eyes it is because it is preventing me from wanting to go to school. School is for learning and if I'm not going I won't be learning. My parents are great parents but I am the youngest and my siblings always call me a baby so u don't want to be a baby and really tell my parents about this. Should I talk to them? Should I just shake it off and deal with it? Should I switch schools? I have the choice of switching next year but I have gone here since kindergarten and love everyone, except this teacher, and next year I will have a whole different building and 5 teachers instead of one and I won't be at school for 7 hours like this year. My friends have a agreed with me that she is mean and rude. But her family isn't making a whole lot of money and my school pays more than most schools because it is so different. Her kids also get discounts because of her being a teacher and it is a great school. If she gets fired or in trouble then it could change her whole life. But it is effecting my whole life too. I had a great boyfriend, don't worry it wasn't like serious we only held hands, and she got in my business and threatened to tell my dad. It effected my grades and personality because of stress and sadness. It led me to telling my mom and it killed me because it hurt my boyfriend so bad that we aren't even friends anymore. I have lost 3 great friends because I told my mother. My teacher had ruined my life. Please help guide me through this and help me understand what I need to do or don't need to do. I feel alone because I always went to those friends and my teacher took that from me. Ever since I told my mom about my boyfriend we haven't been as close. It is hurting me and I have thought some terrible things. But I have one really good friend that's there for me. I haven't been myself in 4 months because of what my teacher did. I haven't been as energetic and my friends get mad at me because of it. Wow I haven't ever been this open. It feels good to finally get that off my chest.
 
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john doe said:

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