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Thursday, 26 November 2009 00:00 |
Two events have inspired this blog. First, the recent article in the NY Times on preschool age bullying, and second, the Keynote address I am doing at the Children of the Heart Matter conference in February 2010 for infants, toddlers, preschoolers and early school age children.
Can little children be bullies? The answer is YES!! Regardless of the age of the children around us, we still need to have expectations of socially acceptable behaviour. The Bully Beware newsletter this month addresses this issue more closely, and it is clear that we cannot dismiss violent, aggressive and otherwise inappropriate behaviours in children simply because they are young. Bullying is a learned behaviour. And children don’t often just grow out of it. If a young child is repeatedly using violent, exclusive, mean spirited and intentionally mean behaviours to get what s/he wants, or to limit the social experience s of others, that child needs to be held accountable for those behaviours. The single most influential experience in a young child’s home environment. For very young children, home counts for everything.
Teaching very young children is one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of all, and it takes a great deal of patience and repetition. We, the adults, need to remember that everything we do, every way we behave, every situation we handle serves as a model for our children, whether we love with them or work with them. We are their heroes. What an incredible gift to have given to us. We need to expect them to behave, provide many models showing how to do the right thing, and celebrate the successes. Children who are bullies do not have a bright future. And children who are bullied are at risk for life long emotional damage and self esteem issues. We need take action as soon as bullying behaviours are identified.
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